Full disclosure — I have a peculiar fascination with goats. It doesn’t make any sense, but I adore them. If you could potty train them, or prevent them from eating your couch and walls, I would have a house full of them. My goat obsession is so over the top, that years ago when the alternative rock band Cake released a song called “Sheep Go to Heaven, Goats Go to Hell,” I wrote to them and explained this song was highly offensive and had likely done irreparable damage to the reputation of goats around the globe. The response I got went something like this: “Dear Crazy Goat Lady, Get a hobby. It’s just a song. You’re really weird.”
My unexplainable goat adoration aside, these little bleating creatures might just be an eco-friendly and economically viable solution to a problem the county is currently, well, butting up against.
In Saturday’s paper there was an article about who should pay for spraying noxious weeds, Summit County or private landowners. The cost is about $40,000 with the landowners paying for the chemicals and the county picking up the tab for the helicopter they are sprayed from.
Some people on the Weed Board (which turns out to be something entirely different than I first thought, and in all likelihood, not nearly as entertaining) think it’s unfair for the county, and by extension taxpayers, to have to pay for weed control on private land. The other side argues that the cost-splitting program currently in place is cheaper than education and enforcement.
But it seems to me people on both sides are missing an obvious solution. You guessed it: Goats.
No kidding, goats are a great alternative to herbicides and pesticides. Poisonous chemicals aren’t good for plants, people, water or wildlife. But goats are an optimal land-management tool for eradicating weeds.
Goats eat pretty much anything, and are quite fond of noxious weeds. They can handle steep terrain that’s difficult for humans or even motorized equipment to access. You can target specific problem areas with goats. Their unique digestive systems destroy the seeds so they aren’t spread in the manure, which turns out to be a great, natural fertilizer. And, grazing goats help prevent wildfires too.
Goat grazing is an ecologically beneficial way to get rid of unwanted weeds and promote the growth of native grasses. When the goats are finished, they don’t leave behind synthetic chemicals that run into rivers and streams — or our drinking water.
And of course there’s the entertainment value. Ever seen a herd of goats munching through a field? Trust me, it’s the only time you’ll ever think it’s adorable when your landscaper spends the whole day at lunch.
While not spraying poison from a helicopter is at the top of my list for reasons the Weed Board should rent goats to solve the noxious weed problems, there’s also the added bonus of it being a potentially cheaper solution. Billy and his buddies can be rented for about $2 each per day.
That’s right — you can rent goats. We don’t even have to open a petting zoo to solve this problem. They eat our problems and go home with their goat herd.
Just some of the many reasons the county should consider this eco-friendly alternative. Goats are great. And I’m certain they go to heaven too.
Amy Roberts is a longtime Park City resident, freelance writer and the proud owner of two ill-behaved rescue dogs, Boston and Stanley.