Helping people in crisis is not so complicated, according to mystery author and advocate for domestic violence survivors Shannon Symonds. Just listen.
Symonds will be a keynote speaker when Community Action and Services Food Bank hosts its first annual Wasatch and Summit County Poverty Summit on Wednesday from 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. at the Utah Valley University’s Wasatch Campus in Heber City. The day’s agenda includes speakers and breakout sessions on practical solutions, along with breakfast and lunch at the ticketed event.
“We all have our baggage we carry that we don’t want anyone to know about, but it would be great if more people were comfortable being less than perfect,” Symonds said. “There would be a lot less poverty, a lot less isolation, and more support for each other.”
Symonds is a mystery author who has been a certified sexual assault and domestic violence advocate serving survivors of trauma alongside law enforcement for over 15 years in northwestern Oregon. That meant when someone was assaulted, officers would call, and she would meet them at the house and work with the survivor in an effort to create safety.
The organization aims to meet people’s basic needs during crisis and offers long-term solutions to help build financial and social self-sufficiency, serving Summit, Wasatch and Utah counties since 1967. This summit, modeled on a Utah County program that has met for the past 10 years, will bring together community leaders, organizations, and individuals addressing poverty in the region.
Symonds will speak about lessons learned during her careers, where she has consistently seen the benefits of making personal connections. She recalled her first meeting with police officers she would accompany on domestic violence calls.
“My boss had said, ‘Don’t tell them you’re a mother.’ Of course I did, and I think at that moment, in a conversation between me and 17 officers, I became human,” Symonds said. “They understood I just wanted to help people that were in a very similar position to a position I’d been in before. I knew how badly you need information, resources, options, and to feel like you’re not alone, even if you decide to stay, because often people stay. They don’t leave that night with the advocate, but at least they have a lifeline, a crisis line, a face, and they know what’s available.”
Symonds came to understand how listening is a paramount skill, and prescriptive judgments cause more harm than good.
“We need to understand the world from the perspective of that person we’re working with,” Symonds said. “We need to listen to them instead of looking for what they’re doing wrong and trying to tell them, ‘Oh, just fix this.’ Any sentence that begins with ‘just,’ just stop yourself. We need to be listening, we need to hear them, we need to find the strength in what they’re telling us, and support whatever it is they need to be successful.”
As Symonds listened, she noticed a pattern of survivors being evicted after domestic assaults. Costs of new housing were a barrier to escape and homelessness could result. Symonds worked with survivor Tiffany Alvera, Oregon legal aid offices and the American Civil Liberties Union to change national housing rights for victims and stop Housing and Urban Development from evicting survivors in possession of a restraining order in 2001.
“I was just the right person at the right time at the right place who asked the right question, which tells me that all of us, if we pay attention to what’s happening in our community, can make a difference,” Symonds said. “You don’t have to be the one who goes to court. You don’t have to call the heavy hitters. You just need to start asking questions. ‘How can we fix this? How can we improve this?’”
Symonds, who spends time between Murray and Seaside, Oregon, has worked at Peace House in Park City, the domestic violence prevention non-profit that offers support for survivors and their families.
“Peace House is the most efficiently run, beautiful shelter I have ever seen. I’ve never seen anything to meet its standards and its quality,” Symonds said. “You have something that is rare. You have a community that has gotten together to provide exactly what survivors of domestic violence need, when they need it, and is doing a great job.”
While Utah State University statistics show that one in three Utah women will experience domestic violence, Symonds said the state’s Domestic Violence Lethality Screening for First Responders can save lives when used.
“The last thing a survivor wants to hear is, ‘I understand,’ because you don’t,” Symonds said. “What they need to hear is, ‘I’ve got this number to a crisis line. I know this place. I don’t have the answers, but I think I know someone who does.’ Or just listen. Listen and know the red flags. Know when it’s time to go get help and give encouragement to go get help. Whether you’re a school counselor or work at a used car lot, you should at least know where to send people in danger and what those basic red flags are for risk.”
Tickets for the Summit and Wasatch County Poverty Summit are available at eventbrite.com